Sometimes they are truly wonderful. He will ask her if he should drive me to the party and she will say, of course. She will look at my costume and tell me (again) that I should have been a ballerina. He will give me a bottle of wine for the host. He will drive me -twenty minutes each way- without complaint. He won’t say a word when -almost there- I change my mind. He will say, I would stay up and play tavli* with you if I wasn’t so tired. In the elevator, he will suddenly kiss my cheek. At home, she will be surprised to see me; she will sound sad and say, Oh, Alexia, why? I promise you would have had fun.
Sometimes I miss out on great nights because I am suddenly gripped by a fear that I will not be great. I do not know if this was one of those nights but I have realised that I am a bit of a coward, an indoor-cat, a mama’s girl. I do not know why life scares me sometimes but I do know that life would be a lot scarier if it weren’t for my parents. They are opinionated, infuriating, intelligent, emotional people (which I love about them when we’re not screaming at each other) but sometimes they are so discreetly supportive that I am reminded that despite my relentless loneliness, my parents’ love and devotion has never been doubted. And for that, I am very grateful.