Alexia’s Eleven Commandments

During another epic psychoanalytic conversation with Eleni, I had this epiphany:

I am not Superwoman.

I will not learn a dance in one day that everyone else has been studying for one year. I do not need to write something brilliant every time my pen touches the paper. Not every single guy I meet will become infatuated with me. I do not need to be stoic and silent and strong when something traumatic happens to me.

Oh.

Now, since I am not godly, I will assume that I am human. Now, since I am human, that doesn’t necessarily mean I believe in a god, let alone a Christian one. Now, since I do not believe in a god, let alone a Christian one, that means I am free to create my own commandments.

I like the number 11 because it is a multiple of 33.

1. Thou shalt not drink to get drunk.

2. Thou shalt stop making volcanos out of scientific experiments.

3. Thou shalt accept that thou are good/pretty/clever/etc enough.

4. Thou shalt not bite thine nails.

5. Thou shalt not let one boy’s rejection be that killer Jenga block.

6. Thou shalt stop giving people 19278346876th chances.

7. Thou shalt shut the fuck up and be a better listener.

8. Thou shalt read more and ThouTube less.

9. Thou shalt stop acting like a spaz when thou likes a dude.

10. Thou shalt act upon’s thine instinct, not just listen to it.

11. Thou shalt heed Frankie’s advice and relax!

If I could live my life like this, I think I’d be much happier. Maybe I should start my own religion or something. Would you follow me? Before you answer, know that I’d let you make up your own commandments!

What would your eleven commandments be?
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Alexia

I drink, I laugh, I smoke, I write.

22 thoughts on “Alexia’s Eleven Commandments”

  1. Let me think about this a little more. But I’m definitely going to include this one: “Thou shall not let one boy’s rejection be that Killer Jenga block” I loved that!

  2. #12 Thou shall permit there to be, from time to time, exceptions to #1 to #11 and thou shalt not experience guilt over such exceptions.

  3. It seems that Jenga is the descriptive relationship tool lately. I just used it myself. I like some of your commandments but I don’t think I can follow you sadly on of my first commandments would have to be, “Thou shall stop following pretty girls around by the tail” (or for the tail … I haven’t figured that part out yet).

  4. here are my eleven…
    1. Look for the positive even in the shittiest situation, everything happens for a reason
    2. Accept others as they are and love them for it
    3. Not change for anyone, stay true to yourself
    4. Take good care of your body
    5. Have no fear
    6. Have no regrets
    7. Think about what you say and say what you are thinking
    8. If you are gonna have sex, make sure it’s good
    9. Never give up chocolate
    10. Give up smoking
    11. Love like you have never been hurt

    although its more like on top of yours, apart from the nail biting, so i guess that means i would be living by 21 Alexias’ Commandments 😉

  5. I’m ready to enroll in the Church of Alexia.

    Mine?

    1. Take two and hit to right.
    2. If you can’t do anything else, you can rebound.
    3. Sometimes, all you can do is get back to the line of scrimmage.
    4. Long off the tee looks impressive, but straight wins tournaments.
    5. Few situations are made worse by a joke.
    6. There aren’t any sacred cows.
    7. You can’t control what they will do. Focus on what they could do.
    8. Bet on the most likely outcome.
    9. The lottery is a tax on stupidity.
    10. Lots of things are a waste of time, but still worth doing.
    11. Everyone is beautiful.

  6. 1. Stop being the person I think other people want me to be – just me is enough.
    2. It’s okay to just relax and go with it.
    3. It doesn’t have to work out perfectly every time – relationships, work, baking cakes.
    4. Chocolate is NOT the solution.
    5. I will never be afraid to go for something I really believe in.
    6. Always have a travel holiday on my list of goals.
    7. I will not become so focused on a romantic relationship that I give up on other friendships
    8. Spend money on very pretty, very special shoes/bags/clothes if they make me happy.
    9. Always make time to ask how my friends are and see if I can help them out.
    10. I will not settle for second-best.
    11. Live with as few regrets as possible.

    1. Okay, I’m going to sound really repetitive but… I agree with all of these! In fact, I agree with them a lot! So many commandments that maybe we should make it just one: don’t live by commandments.

  7. I’ll take no. 11 and skip the rest. To be honest I am scared of commandments (my ultra christian upbringing) – always getting in my way telling me No and don’t and i am wrong for feeling what i feel.
    No regrets though – Most of my choices all the wrong and stupid ones were the right ones at the time. If i hadn’t have made them i wouldn’t be the person i am now.

    1. I’m inclined to agree with you on that last bit. I can’t regret certain decisions because then I wouldn’t be who I am today and that is a scary thought.

  8. Hi, Lexi! I miss your subtle linguistic tapestries. I have had my own break, though, so I can empathize. Maybe your Greek summer is better soaked in than poured out. I hope that’s the case…you have fans who miss you!

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