I Carried a Watermelon

On Sunday afternoon, I took all my unread books onto the balcony (twenty-three) and tried to start munching my way through them. FAIL. Within a few minutes, I thought of the gargantuan watermelon sitting severed in the fridge. Nom nom nom.


No answer.

“Daddy, how the hell do you cut up a watermelon?”

No answer. And then, a snore. And then another.

Hm, it seemed like I was going to have to be an independent watermelon warrior. I grabbed a knife and stuck it into the belly. I felt like I was gutting something. It was oddly exciting. I went all the way around and ended up with this.

Then I thought it would be funny if I did this:

By this time, I couldn’t be bothered to get up for a fork so I started eating with my fingers and it looked real ugly.

So I did this!

Happy August 1st!


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I drink, I laugh, I smoke, I write.

2 thoughts on “I Carried a Watermelon”

  1. You are the silliest, that is what you are. *smile* (You should have gotten Jeffrey to help — I am sure he’s probably very handy with kitchen implements.)

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