1 . I smile when I kiss. I can’t help it. If I’m not smiling, you’re in trouble. Or I’m incredibly turned on.
2. Sometimes, when I feel awkward or unhappy or both, I imagine I am a character in a book or a movie and then the awkwardness melts into charm and the unhappiness melts into glamour, and then I feel like I’m in control again.
3. Sometimes I make hypothetical, unrealistic sacrifices in my mind like, Universe, we both know I’m lonely, but if it’s a choice between me and her, send her someone to love first.
4. I get very possessive of Audrey Hepburn (read: Holly Golightly) and I hate it when other people dress up as her!
5. I watch a lot of mindless shows. At the moment it’s Grey’s Anatomy which is smart and funny but ultimately fairly mindless. I do this because I can zone out. I haven’t been able to watch deep, thought-inducing movies/ shows for years. It makes me feel too much. And like I’m not doing enough.
6. I have hurt/ rejected more than my fair share of boys. It shames me but I think a small part of me is proud. To be so powerful, I suppose. Isn’t that awful?
7. I am ethical to the point of self-righteousness. I point this out because I have a rather naughty reputation. On Saturday I stole our shot glasses from the bar. I have shop-liften, tresspassed, mock-complained to cops on the street and danced on tables. However, despite all this, I have a severe moral compass. Which I wish I could smash every now and then. I feel so bound to duty that it can actually induce a bad mood. I think this is related to my my chronic politeness.
8. I spent most of my life biting my nails so, these days, if one break, YES, IT’S A TRAGEDY, OK?!
9. I lead a green life: I recycle, I don’t waste electricity, I’m a vegetarian… but I use a straw with every drink and I forget to wash them or I don’t feel like it and it makes me feel really guilty for wasting all that plastic. See Number 7.
10. Boys like me. They do. I know. They know. We know. I don’t know what my attitude is supposed to be towards this! Do I feign innocence, which is modest slash dishonest, or do I own it and risk coming across as incredibly arrogant? What say you, people?
And tell me one of your secrets!