Lithium Love

I carry a silver bell in my jacket pocket so that I’m touching magic all the time. They say warm words to me, promises like lyrics, and every time I love someone, I’m surprised; hearts don’t have walls. She walks in with her head and tail in the air and she goes straight for my throat. I think it’s because, when I talk to her, she feels the vibrations: human purring. The house glows in the sunshine; all our furniture screams family. My fingers tap in morse code as thoughts rise and glitter like dust motes. They always make me be Eliot. Enough with Lithium love; I want the real deal. Sometimes, the world goes silent and all I can hear is the Universe smile. I throw words onto the page like a failed Pollock. I think my hands are going to be cold for a little while longer.

‘Can I tell you about how I burnt myself while I was cooking?’
I laugh and say, ‘Burns aren’t eggshells, mother.’
She told me that whenever someone starts to tell her about their burns, they stop themselves. They deny themselves the right the complain. I kind of like that.

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Published by

Alexia

I drink, I laugh, I smoke, I write.

5 thoughts on “Lithium Love”

  1. People do that to me, all the time — someone will say how tired they are, or that they have had the flu, or a bad headache, or whatever, and then stop and look at me and apologize for giving voice to that sort of mundane complaint because I’m _really_ sick, you know. I hate it; it makes me feel like shit. Because if we compare the good things or the bad things in our lives always to everyone else’s, then we will never have anything at all. There is always something better, and always something worse. That shouldn’t make our self-experiences any less-than. It makes me want to shrivel up and disappear, whenever anyone stops themselves and gives me that kind of apology. Gah.

    1. Yes, we need to stop apologising! I think it’s good to be aware of worse things but that doesn’t mean that any lesser pain is irrelevant. The other day my mother told me that now, whenever someone scalds themselves or burns themselves on the oven, and they start to complain, they always stop and laugh and say, ‘Never mind!’ which I thought was quite lovely. May I ask how you are ‘really_sick’?

  2. So there’s still some humanity left 🙂

    I hate pain, and yet I let those I care about walk all over me.
    Must be some sort of penance trip to make up for the hatred I have for the world.

    I wish I had some magic dust. Would go back, and give you some so you’d be fireproof.

    Bask in the flames.

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