Yesterday I walked alone just to watch strangers and their Christmas smiles. I made wishes on electric stars in trees. You know, I thought I was superwoman. I thought setting myself on fire wouldn’t matter as long as I kept smiling. No one believed me. I remembered what my screams tasted like and I almost started crying. I bought something just because it’s so soft I think hugs will last longer when I wear it. I danced with a boy and suddenly it wasn’t platonic and I liked it so I ran away. There are too many shadows on my memory but I remember bathroom bonding and corner kisses and shoulder sleeps. On Christmas morning, I was still drunk. I made thirty-three paper snowflakes to break the tropical weather. I’m all about contradictions. Leather and lace. Feminine tomboy. Lonely commiment-phobe. He said many sweet things but I will not call him because pride is a hard thing to break. Sometimes my soul collapses and I can’t even stand up straight. Every time I realise how many people love me I think, I’ve got to be doing something right, even though I don’t know what that something is. My friends got me stoned on second-hand smoke and I didn’t realise until I laughed so hard I started crying. Maybe I was just crying.
I’ve been asshole with catching up on all your posts. I’m sorry, I’ve just been so busy socialising! It’s a hard life. I hope you are all having a wonderful time. Faceless or not, I am rather fond of you all, dear readers, and so I would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a fantastic final week for 2010!