i hate you because i thought i was going to love you.
i hate me because, realising i could love you,
i froze. i thought if i acted cool that
the fire in my eyes would disappear.
just not the fire for you.
just the essence of me.
so now i sit here simmering in the irony
that if i’d been brave,
for one more time this year,
you would be here.
instead, you are studying science somewhere else,
convinced that there is no chemistry with me
there was too much
and i was too scared to let go.