One-hundred and Two: When You Want To Be Near Someone Without Being With Them

I bring you cupcakes only to make you watch me break them.
I hang by your side, anchored by duty, smiling in discomfort.
I am watering down communication because I want to know
how much you can understand by the things that I do not do.

It’s been a long time but it’s interesting to see that I can still
disappear like a shadow. I wonder if you search for me in the
crowds; me, a shadow with neon pink nails, the only light.
I down sunshine, hot shots to shock me into being here.

I am not here. I am grazing the stars, the Saturday night cars,
the worlds of those dancers in the hub of this rooftop party.
I am not here and you know it but still you don’t say a thing…
Until I flip on my heels and run with no intentions of returning.


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I drink, I laugh, I smoke, I write.

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